Somebody left these underpants at my house: I found them under the guest bed. I don’t know how they got there and nobody will fess up to owning them. So I’m putting them on the Internet. Perhaps somewhere, out there, somebody can explain how a wormhole opened and magically connected my spare room with your [...]

I’m not going to be able to sleep until I think this through. Why did Captain Picard always say “Earl Grey, Hot”? He never said “Earl Grey, Extra Hot” or “Earl Grey, Lukewarm”. So why does he have to say “Earl Grey, Hot?” He always orders exactly the same tea at exactly the same temperature. [...]

This is not a joke. I am not kidding. I don’t get why Rush is such a big deal. Everybody is freaking out like OMG RUSH CONCERT NEED MOAR TIX. Really. I don’t understand. I’ve heard their music. It’s okay. If you can explain to me why Rush is a big deal in words that [...]

You decide.

Bad horror movies. Black cats. Walking under ladders. Broken mirrors. I’d always thought Friday the 13th was a load of superstitious hogwash, especially since in professional know-it-all fashion I know the true origins of this sort-of holiday. The Knights Templar began as a religious order dedicated to guarding pilgrims on the road to Jerusalem after [...]

I was cleaning out my blog post drafts and found this. I offer no explanation or apology. As the Afternoon grew late With golden slanting sunlight – A Birdie shat upon my Pate – O death of day’s delight! I do not Blame the little Bird Nor question in great furor – For dropping on [...]

It’s been an emotional few weeks for me. First, the horrific news of USC being severely punished for the crimes of Reggie Bush (may he rot in everlasting pig manure). Then, LA reclaims the NBA throne from the Celtics, which makes up for about 50% of the two bowl games the Trojans are banned from. [...]