Graham Chapman as Arthur Dent
Eric Idle as Ford Prefect
Terry Jones as Mr. L. Prosser
Terry Jones as the Barman of the Horse and Groom
John Cleese as Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
Terry Jones as Marvin the Paranoid Android
Michael Palin as Zaphod Beeblebrox
Carol Cleveland as Trillian
Eric Idle as Phouchg
Michael Palin as Loonquawl
Terry Jones as Deep Thought
John Cleese as Slartibartfast
Terry Gilliam as Franky Mouse
Michael Palin as Benjy Mouse
And Carol Cleveland as the voice of The Book

And yet it’s never to be . . . BELGIUM.

“Bohemian Rhapsody” is an especially delicious-looking track (by the way, if you haven’t downloaded the Queen track pack, DO IT NOW) and I’m looking forward to wailing on “Crazy Train” and playing the keyboard part to “Break on Through to the Other Side.” I’m sure the game holds much more, and the opening of the Rock Band Marketplace is a fantastic development that means I get to play “Code Monkey.” But I’ve still got a pretty hefty wish list of songs that would fill various needs for me:

• Taking advantage of the vocal harmonies feature developed for The Beatles: Rock Band: “If I had $1,000,000″ by Barenaked Ladies and pretty much everything in the Beach Boys’ catalog
• Reliving my childhood: “I Think We’re Alone Now” as performed by Tiffany
• Addressing my outrage that there is absolutely no Johnny Cash anywhere in Rock Band: “Folsom Prison Blues,” “Ring of Fire” and “I’ve Been Everywhere”
• Getting some frickin’ non-English music into Rock Band: “99 Luftballons” by Nena (auf Deutsch, bitte)
• Because it’s stupid to include South Park tracks and not have these songs: “Chocolate Salty Balls” by Chef and “Come Sail Away” as peformed by Eric Cartman
• Because there isn’t enough metal: “Rock ‘n’ Roll Doctor” by Black Sabbath, “Breaking the Law” and “Metal Gods” by Judas Priest, “I Don’t Wanna Stop” by Ozzy Osbourne, “Murmaider” and “The Lost Vikings” by Dethklok, and lots and lots and lots of Motörhead

A totally separate pipe dream is the idea that there could ever be Led Zeppelin in Rock Band. Really, the band deserves their own game, in the fashion of The Beatles: Rock Band. But when it comes to music licensing we mere mortals are not worthy of bread from the table of the Lords of Rock, and so must settle for crumbs of the likes of Green Day: Rock Band. That doesn’t mean I won’t fantasize about playing drums along to “When the Levee Breaks” or play the guitar part to “Stairway to Heaven,” Wayne’s World be damned.

In terms of features, I’d love to see a feature (or possibly an entirely separate game) called The Studio where players can take their newly acquired drumming, singing, and strumming skills and record either cover versions of rock songs from the game or lay down completely original work. With the right framework, simple home recording could go from a scary and expensive endeavor to a pretty user-friendly experience.

Smarter library navigation is quickly becoming a must. By the end of 2010 there will be more than 2000 songs available for Rock Band. To get an idea of what we’re currently working with, imagine trying to navigate your collection of perfectly legally downloaded mp3s without a mouse or a search feature. Yeah. I hope they resolve that with the “Redesigned Library for Better Music Management,” though I doubt it will be easy to make everyone happy.

I hope that Rock Band continues with its more gender-balanced approach to gameplay. The physical appearance of the playable characters still look good to me — no waify Japanimated skank girls like in Guitar Hero kplzthx.

Mostly I just want to get my hands on the stringed USB guitar and that tasty key-tar. The only bittersweet part for me is the fact that I haven’t been able to play drums since moving into my current place. I guess the guy downstairs gets “annoyed” by the sound of me stomping a kick pedal like it’s a rabid badger going for my ankles. PFFFT!

Sigh.

But now I’m a grownup. Maybe instead of playing pretty pretty princess dress-up with a make believe pony, I’ll go out and buy one for myself.

The Camaro was a pipe dream for me just a few years ago. An utter impossibility. But now . . . the automotive industry is in the toilet and they are desperate to move anything, especially the brand-spankin’ new revamp of a classic, available in April. Say what you will about Detroit steel — the Camaro is an exception. Well designed, built to last, and an instant collector’s item, it’s a pony car that isn’t as played out as the Mustang or as annoyingly flashy as a Trans Am. It’s a Camarrrrrrrrrrrrowrowrorwrrrrrrrrrro.

I don’t know if I even need a new car yet. I’ll find out within the next couple of hours. But if I do . . . I just may be begging myself for a new pony . . .

“I Want You Bad” — Offspring
“Folsom Prison Blues” — Johnny Cash
“Lay Lady Lay” — Bob Dylan
“Byker Hill” — Traditional
“Code Monkey” — Johnathan Coulton
“Goodbye Earl” — Dennis Linde
“Uncloudy Day” — Willie Nelson
“Go Your Own Way” — Fleetwood Mac
“It Ain’t Me Babe” — Bob Dylan
“Going to California” — Led Zeppelin
“Bad Reputation” — Joan Jett
“Nine in the Afternoon” — Panic at the Disco
“Don’t Stop” — Fleetwood Mac
“What’s My Age Again?” — Blink 182
“South Australia” — Traditional
“Boys of Summer” — Don Henley
“Highwayman” — The Highwaymen
“A Girl Like You” — Pete Yorn
“Away from the Roll of the Sea” — Allistair MacGillivray
“Mustang Sally” — Wilson Pickett