The following is a work of anti-fan fiction, demonstrating how the Twilight series should have ended. Go to like, page 558 of Book 2 and stop reading here: “I was immersed momentarily in his golden gaze. It wasn’t hard to understand what I’d missed in the conversation. The only thing that Jacob would want from [...]

The first obstacle I faced in my masochistic commitment to destroy Twilight once and for all came in the form of finding copies of the books at all. What was I to do? I couldn’t waltz down to the bookstore and plunk down sixty bucks for the whole series brand new. I don’t want to [...]

I know I’ve been hating on Twilight for some time now. I read the first book and saw the first flick, and at first thought it was a harmless teenybopper phenomenon for chicks who wanted the plot of Wuthering Heights without all the big long words that are hard to read. But the continued popularity [...]

To all those of you who are going to see the new Twilight movie (given the über non-epic title The Twilight Saga: New Moon) tonight, I say good riddance. For a few hours the streets will be clear of brain damaged fangirls who lust for hot abusive controlling a-hole boyfriends and live vicariously through stupidly [...]