My female relatives abandoned the babies with the men on Friday night and headed to the theater to see their precious Edward and Jacob drool over Bella. I didn’t want to hear about the movie, but they did tell me that after the movie spent forever finally building up to it, *just* as the first [...]

To all those of you who are going to see the new Twilight movie (given the über non-epic title The Twilight Saga: New Moon) tonight, I say good riddance. For a few hours the streets will be clear of brain damaged fangirls who lust for hot abusive controlling a-hole boyfriends and live vicariously through stupidly [...]

What’s the most metal part of 300? A. The part where Leonidas kicks a Persian into a bottomless pit B. The part where the Spartans stand on the beach screaming in the lightning and thunder and rain while dozens of ships get wrecked by the storm C. The part where a Spartan throws a spear [...]

I used to think I was just really, really into movies. But more and more I’ve discovered I’m into movie making. Maybe it’s because I grew up around so much of it. I’m not sure. But the crafting of illusions is something I thoroughly enjoy, much to the chagrin of my friends who just want [...]

For show and tell today, here is my movie report. In the 1600′s, Americans with very bad fake Scottish and French accents make each other angry. The fake Frenchie clamps a red hot iron hockey mask on the fake Scot, who for inexplicable reasons has an Irish surname (McCullen). Four centuries later, McCullen’s descendant has [...]

So, you wanna know why us girls like bad boys? Go see Public Enemies and you’ll see a bona fide Kiss Me Now You Fool Bad Boy — not the all-too-common a-holes who masquerade as the real deal. Oh– movie review stuff first. Dum dee dum dum. The cinematography reinforces that this is a highly [...]

Prologue to the review: leave the children at home. This is not a morality tale, and it makes no apologies. This is a very, very R-rated film, and should not be viewed by anyone who is offended by vomiting, gunfire, inappropriate caricatures of police officers, urination, frighteningly ugly butt cheeks, shamefully light views of animal [...]