I’ve been away from home for, like, ten days, which may as well be, like, a million. It’s a roundabout path I took — Bay Area to the Midwest to Los Angeles. I had to take a car, a stinking bus, and about a dozen escalators, but I finally made it through security at this [...]

So like when me and my sister Bam-Bam were in college, one of the times when we flew home to L.A. for Thanksgiving my mom met us at the sphincter of that horrid cesspool known as Los Angeles International Airport. We wheeled our bags toward the car, but not without a Very Important Potty Stop. [...]

Sure, yeah, let’s take a trip down to LA! Before this weekend, I hadn’t been home to LA since August. That’s the longest I’ve ever been away from my hometown, and I didn’t like it. So I figure that when I finally made it down there this weekend, it would be all sunshine and perfection. [...]

I had terrible insomnia a few months ago. It went away due to a couple of things, namely going to the gym religiously, working on my headspace, having a nice Christmas break, and, as an absolute last resort, Ambien. It’s back. Oh, insomnia, you heartless bastard. I thought I told you not to come around [...]

I just told some of my coworkers about this, and I got the typical non-Southern Californian response: “Eeew! Gross!” My response: “I can’t believe you people haven’t figured it out on your own!” It’s very much a Southern California thing, and totally an L.A. thing. Yes, I’m talking about Chinese food and donuts. Most places [...]

I had to run down to Guitar Center today — well, had to in the sense that I had a very slim justification and I took it and ran with it — and so got to enjoy some beautiful blue L.A. skies with fluffy white clouds and palm trees while everybody else I know is [...]