I love Christmas trees. No matter how high tech we get, a decorated tree is still beautiful. My roommate helped me decorate our tree, and we celebrated with burritos. YAY! Now we just nead some prezzies under that thar tree . . .

Human larvae have very few redeeming qualities. They can’t hold down a conversation, they can’t play video games, and they are so lazy they even expect people to clean up their poop for them. But dang, are they cute. A friend is expecting a pretty little girl any second now, and I recalled her saying [...]

Just got this e-mail from a former fellow worker drone: The strangest event just unfolded: I had a nightmare (well, it was scary at the time) that you were chasing me as an evil robot from Xanthur that wouldn’t allow me to leave the planet. I couldn’t destroy you or any your fellow foes for [...]

Dear Doan, How have you been, brother? Still living in Santa Cruz? It’s been about a year since the big day, and I was thinking of you. How’s married life? Did you make it to your first anniversary? Statistically, you should have. You have an 82% chance of reaching your fifth anniversary, after all. But [...]

You two sent me the nicest Valentine I ever got. Hands down. I haven’t always been a big fan of Valentine’s Day, because the like, two times anybody has tried to do something thoughtful for me, I end up inadvertently doing something to screw it up. Like calling the cops on a guy just trying [...]

You probably don’t remember me. In fact, I’m betting that you don’t. Last night you were so trashed that if you’ve even managed to crawl out of bed by now, jackhammers and angry monkeys inside your skull notwithstanding, I’d be amazed. But I felt the need to write to you because I just wanted to [...]