Posts Tagged ‘football’

TSA: Keeping America Safe from My Chonies

It’s been an emotional few weeks for me. First, the horrific news of USC being severely punished for the crimes of Reggie Bush (may he rot in everlasting pig manure). Then, LA reclaims the NBA throne from the Celtics, which makes up for about 50% of the two bowl games the Trojans are banned from. [...]

Last Weekend

1. I ate delicious turkey and three different kinds of pie. 2. My Xbox was on and in use as long as somebody in the house was conscious. 3. However, said Xbox scratched my brand new frickin’ copy of BrĂ¼tal Legend. The circular scratch of death meant that no matter how much disk repair goo [...]

Sorry, Cards.

I hate seeing a no-class act take home a Superbowl victory. The Steelers were acting like the Raiders, which is a shame because Roethlisberger doesn’t seem to be a punk. I was particularly disappointed that James Harrison wasn’t tossed out of the stadium and fined for his completely out-of-line conduct late in the game. Not [...]

My Exclusive Postgame Interview with Pete Carroll

Me: Pete, just want to say congratulations on the win. What do you give credit to for being the only coach to win three consecutive Rose Bowls? Pete: Well, It’s partly the fact that the drinking fountains at USC don’t provide water, but rather magic juju juice. This is not only responsible fror our total [...]

I love my Trojans!!!

A moment ago I was in agony. Now I am ecstatic. Pete Carroll is such a great leader. UCLA gets lucky right off — they get a turnover, they get lucky with a touchdown, and we blow a field goal. It’s only the first quarter and UCLA already is revved up to win. So when [...]

I'm in Ur Team, Coachin Ur Players

I love Pete Carroll. Just a few minutes ago I watched him dominate Stanford so thoroughly that he decided to coach not only his team, but the opposing one as well. My Trojans had firmly spanked the Trees, and there was time for but one more play. Stanford didn’t have a chance of winning, so [...]

Broken Computer System

Fans have been screaming about it for years; eliminate the BCS. It’s overly complicted, eliminates any sense of mystery or enthusiasm, and leaves commentators, players and coaches obsessing over little numbers. Every year I see how poorly it assesses true talent and how well it provokes speculation, argument, and rigidity in the rankings. The BCS [...]