Here are two things that make me happy. Out of pure unadulterated sentimentality, I’m sharing them with you. First up is Sammy: And next is the little bean, who was born on Sunday:

I’ve got a few moments before my flight to Texas, and I’d just like to use them to say the following: NEENER, NEENER. This doll is not creepy: You know who you are, ya little turd. You said it was creepy while I was making it, and that it would make the baby girl I’m [...]

My sister is having a baby pretty soon. I don’t actually want to be there for the person coming out of another person part, but I can at least contribute to easing the discomfort of the final weeks. So for a baby present I bought her Seasons 1-7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I know [...]

I thought I’d escaped it. The . . . look, you can accuse me of insensitivity, but the friggin’ hideous image of a baby with a cleft palate that the Smile Train uses. There is a ginormous billboard that I drive by every day on my way to the gym. It’s huge; just as wide [...]

A friend of mine had a baby today, and it was the first time that I’d been notified of the arrival of a new life via Facebook. My first reaction was happiness, and then awe. When my friends announced that they were pregnant, they created a Facebook page for their baby. I thought “oh, that’s [...]

Human larvae have very few redeeming qualities. They can’t hold down a conversation, they can’t play video games, and they are so lazy they even expect people to clean up their poop for them. But dang, are they cute. A friend is expecting a pretty little girl any second now, and I recalled her saying [...]