Watch out, world. The ranks of the barbarians are growing.

Note 2: Despite that, there were some really good flicks last year.

Note 3: Despite that, some unbelievably poopy movies came out too.

The Way Back
Implausible: A movie conveys just how awful Gulags actually were.
Plausible: Colin Farrell is nuts.

Limitless
Implausible: A drug that makes you think you are awesome and it isn’t cocaine.
Plausible: Bradley Cooper as an uninteresting douche.

Paul
Implausible: An alien from another galaxy whose biology enables him to enjoy pot.
Plausible: Sigourney Weaver kicking the shit out of Simon Pegg.

Sucker Punch
Implausible: The average moviegoing demographic appreciates how mind-blowingly awesome this movie is.
Plausible: Robert Rodriguez creates the first feminist rock anthem of the 21st century.

The King’s Speech
Implausible: A British monarch as good looking as Colin Firth.
Plausible: Geoffrey Rush is made of awesome.

Scream 4
Implausible: This franchise is still relevant.
Plausible: Nobody noticed that this movie came out.

Thor
Implausible: Kenneth Branagh can direct action sequences.
Plausible: Chris Hemsworth didn’t spend enough time with his shirt off.

X-Men First Class
Implausible: Michael Fassbender was actually in such a stupid movie.
Plausible: This movie was as awkward as watching Ewan McGregor impersonate Obi-Wan times 10.

Transformers – Dark of the Moon
Implausible: A Transformers movie was made that I didn’t want to see.
Plausible: Michael Bay might have ruined my childhood even more than George Lucas.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Implausible: A movie with bigger fan service has been made.
Plausible: This was an unnecessary sequel to what should have been just one film for book seven.

Cowboys and Aliens
Implausible: Cowboys would have actually beat Aliens.
Plausible: This movie is so awesome you just don’t care about the implausibility of it all.

Real Steel
Implausible: This movie could have had any sort of plot at all.
Plausible: Everyone saw the trailer and so didn’t need to see the movie.

Footloose
Implausible: That there was any reason to remake the original.
Plausible: That the studio was looking for a quick cash in on nostalgia.

Twilight – Breaking Dawn Part 1
Implausible: That somebody decided this movie should have ended with a dude noming on his dead wife after she gave birth.
Plausible: There are a lot of dumb chicks out there with disposable income.

Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol
Implausible: That moviegoers have forgiven Tom Cruise for being bonkers.
Plausible: That awesome stunts and special effects can make moviegoers forgive Tom Cruise for being bonkers.

I’d have some mead in Valhalla with her. Just sayin’.

Yours truly models the viking Hat while laughing at the thought of pillaging many of a village

Get it while it’s hot. Available with five different hair colors, or no braids at all. It’s the must-have of the season for all fashionable barbarians.