28 May 13

Pick Your Conspiracy

Been hearing some confusing stuff lately so I’d just like to make a handy list of pointers when criticizing the president so that you can at least avoid contradicting yourself.

1. EITHER he is a secret Muslim waiting to spring Sharia law on America OR he is a secret gay.

2. EITHER he is a pinko commie waiting to drag us all into the Soviet Comradeship of Commie Amerika OR he is a Nazi Socialist Goosestepper. He can’t be both. For further reference, check out why Stalin and Hitler didn’t like each other.

3. EITHER he is a totally incompetent out of touch elitist Harvardman who hasn’t got a clue how to run government, OR he is the mastermind of a genius conspiracy to bring a New World Order of the likes that would make Orwell quake in his boots.

Just a friendly guide from someone who hates being confused. FYI, it’s also possible to say that he’s probably none of these things and let’s just change the subject to how yummy tacos are.