30 Jun 11

Earl Grey, Hot

I’m not going to be able to sleep until I think this through.

Why did Captain Picard always say “Earl Grey, Hot”?

He never said “Earl Grey, Extra Hot” or “Earl Grey, Lukewarm”. So why does he have to say “Earl Grey, Hot?” He always orders exactly the same tea at exactly the same temperature. Why bother with specifics every time he wants a cuppa?

I mean, he’s the captain of the friggin’ ship. Can’t he program his food synthesizer with presets so that his Earl Grey is always hot? Or if he doesn’t understand how the damn thing works, isn’t there some Yeoman in a tight spandex jumpsuit to do it for him? Clearly at some point he had to specify the exact temperature of “hot” because I don’t believe that term shows up on the thermometer between 60 and 70 degrees centigrade. Come to think of it, why wouldn’t you want your tea to be hot?

IF CAPTAIN PICARD HAD TO PRESET HIS FOOD SYNTHESIZER SO THAT “HOT” MEANT SOMETHING, WHY COULDN’T HE JUST PROGRAM IT TO UNDERSTAND THAT “TEA” MEANS EARL GREY AT 65 DEGREES CELSIUS??!!1!!111??!//!??