The Expendables is the Greatest Movie Ever
I’d go into a more lengthy explanation, but this summarizes the movie pretty well:
- Hold up all of your fingers
- Pretend your fingers are penises
- Wiggle the fingers on your left hand at the fingers on your right hand and say in a very gruff voice, “FUCK YOU”
- Then wiggle the fingers on your right hand at the fingers on your left hand and say in an even gruffer voice, “FUCK YOU”
- Clap your hands together while making explosion noises for an hour
- Then high five yourself and shout, “THE END!”
In other words, this movie was awesome.

Just saw it today! My only beef is that there wasn’t enough Mickey Rourke. There’s never enough Mickey Rourke…