I love my new cat Loki. I’ve only had him for three weeks and I already can’t remember what it was like not to have him. He’s a massive dork. He rolls over and falls off the bed. (Like me.) He chases after toys, leaps flailing into the air, and falls to the floor in the most ungracious manner conceivable. (Like me.) He gobbles down his grub and then passes out on the couch, unable to move for hours. (Like me.) He’s even in the Cool People With Green Eyes club. (You’re noticing a theme here.) So far the only thing he does to annoy me is his tendency to lay on my laptop to prevent me from paying more attention to it than I do to him.
I expected that I would make kissy-wissy faces at the kitteh, and that I would worry about his well-being far beyond the needs of an animal that can basically look after himself in luxury surroundings where he is lord and master of his domain. I also expected that he would be expensive, and so far I’ve dropped a good thousand bucks on toys, food, bedding, a water fountain, an automatic poop-scooping litterbox, and wand toys with feathery pom-poms on them. Something I didn’t expect when buying a cat was that it’s impossible to get reliable online reviews for any cat products online.
Typically product reviews online, like if you want to buy a drill or a pair of shoes, you see the following:
- How well the product functions
- How easy the product is to use
- If the product is worth buying
Reviews about products and services written by cat owners include one or more of the following:
- A glowing thumbs-up endorsement written from the perspective of the cat
- An explanation that while the product is designed well and in theory should function perfectly, the cat’s psychotic behavior renders it useless
- Psychotic ranting about how this horrible, terrible, evil, awful product or service isn’t good enough for the cat owner’s little poopykins
- A detailed explanation of the cat’s defecation process
- Nasty personal attacks on the designers or purveyors of the product or service
I might be crazy about my cat, but I solemnly swear not to become a crazy cat lady.
on May 22nd, 2010 at 5:59 am
First off, crazy cat ladies have more than one kitteh, so you’re safe there. Unless you adopt three or four more kittehs, then you’d be courting crazy cat lady status. But then Loki might get jealous that he’s not getting all the attention.
Congrats! He’s adorable. I wish I’m as lucky with my next kitteh.