10 Apr 10

No Han Solo Soap for Me

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I’m sure by now you’ve seen the Han Solo in Carbonite Soap that’s making the rounds on the Internet. My boyfriend says I’m not allowed to have any, because I’m not allowed to rub Han Solo on my boobs while I’m HIS girlfriend, thankyouverymuch.

So I want to throw it out there: am I cheating on my boyfriend if I rub a sudsy facsimile of Harrison Ford as Han Solo all over myself? Is the carbonite a mitigating factor, as it would imply that Harrison Ford/Han Solo is unconscious and therefore wouldn’t be aware of said rubbing? If so, am I inappropriately taking advantage of someone who is too impaired to consent to being rubbed? Am I terminally nerdy for taking my train of thought this far?

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4 Comments on “No Han Solo Soap for Me”

  1. 1 J. G. on 11 Apr 2010 at 8:36 pm

    Yes, since he is unconscious and unable to consent, it counts as rape. Carbonite is the new GHB.

    I agree with your boyfriend: no soap in the facsimile of any person is allowed anywhere near my girlfriend’s naked body.

  2. 2 Steve_N. on 12 Apr 2010 at 6:42 am

    … unless, of course, we have film to review.

  3. 3 J. G. on 14 Apr 2010 at 7:34 pm

    Hmmm… I like your thinking.

  4. 4 Steve_N. on 16 Apr 2010 at 12:16 pm

    Its the only way to have a fully formed opinion on the topic, IMHO.

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