Because the real ones are too biased against comedy and creativity, here’s my very own nominations. I’ve also added a few categories. Cast your votes!

Best Picture

• Inglourious Basterds
• Up
• Zombieland

Best Lead Actor

• Woody Harrelson, Zombieland
• Ed Asner, Up
• Paul Rudd, I Love You, Man

Best Supporting Actor

• Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds
• Chris Hemsworth, Star Trek
• Jackie Earle Haley, Watchmen

Best Director

• Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
• Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
• Zack Snyder, Watchmen

Best Foreign Language Film

There are no foreign language films. There are only films made in the native languages of screenwriters, directors, and actors. As with gender, the Oscars are surprisingly backward on this. They either need to get with the multicultural or just become American movie awards.

Best Adapted Screenplay

• The Men Who Stare at Goats
• The Stoning of Soraya M.

Best Original Screenplay

• Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
• Tom McCarthy, Up

Greatest Social Importance

• The Stoning of Soraya M.
• Precious

Best Animation

• Up
• Coraline
• District 9

Best Art Direction

• 9 (The animated one, not the overbaked musical ham)
• Where the Wild Things Are

Best Cinematography

• Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
• Inglourious Basterds
• The Hurt Locker

Best Sound

• Inglourious Basterds
• Star Trek
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Best Original Music

• Hans Zimmer, Sherlock Holmes

Michael Giacchino, Up

Best Soundtrack, non-Original Music

• Watchmen

Best Costuming

• Sherlock Holmes
• Watchmen
• Public Enemies
• The Young Victoria

Best Makeup

• Star Trek

Best Visual Effects

• District 9
• Star Trek
• Watchmen

Most Disappointing Visual Effects

• Terminator Salvation
• G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Kill it With Fire

• The Twilight Saga: New Moon
• 17 Again
• Hannah Montana: The Movie
• Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience

Best Fun

• Race to Witch Mountain
• I Love You, Man
• The Hangover
• Sherlock Holmes

Lousiest Attempt at a Non-Native Dialect

• Liam Neeson, Taken

We are SO Over It

• Capitalism: A Love Story
• Brüno
• I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

Tackiest Effort to Make a Movie that Wins an Award for Something

• Nine (the overbaked musical ham, not the animated one)
• 2012
• Amelia
• Avatar