The principle of conservation of energy states that within a closed system, mass cannot be created or destroyed. This means that energy or matter can’t spontaneously spring into being. It has to come from somewhere.

So why is there so much snot in my nose? Has all the snot in the universe been sucked into a black hole over in the Gamma Quadrant, radiating out through an Einstein-Rosen bridge that has taken up residence in my sinuses, costing me a fortune in Kleenex?

There is no other orifice that behaves this way. If there’s something nasty coming out of you, usually you run out of it quickly and it’s done and over with. But the nose! Ah, the nose. What a miraculous little defier of physics you are.

MAN I hate being sick . . .