Normally I’d never cheer for aliens, but I have to tip my hat. Those slimy reptiloids over at Hulu really have a diabolical scheme up their sleeves.

This year’s collection of Superbowl commercials were particularly bad. In fact, the only one I found to be remotely clever was Alec Baldwin’s charmingly smug confessional that Hulu is nothing more than and alien plot to turn your brains to mush.

It’s not far off from the truth. There’s a lot of good stuff on there, but there are also some really, truly horrific films on Hulu. Stuff like Howard the Duck. I had never seen that one, and I watched it out of sheer perverse curiosity. Wow. Bad. Terrible. Horrific. Proof that in the ’80s, enough cocaine could get any project greenlit in Hollywood.

It’s really an exercise in supply and demand. Hulu could easily be used by high school economics teachers to demonstrate why a DVD for a new movie costs $20 at Best Buy but is free (well, it costs us a bit of our time in watching commercials) on Hulu. It’s also a lesson on opportunity cost. You could pay $10 to go to the theater to see something new but uncertain as to its value. Or you could stay home and, well, if the flick you watch on Hulu is worthless, you won’t feel ripped off. Especially because in addition to craptacular works like Hercules in New York (which only sucks because they dubbed over Schwarznegger’s voice) and Beethoven’s 2nd (scraping the bottom of the bargain bin, are we?), there are actually some decent programs on there. I enjoyed going back to see old episodes of I Dream of Jeannie and am always happy to catch up on Colbert or Terminator.

Most of the higher-value programming is in the TV offerings, but there are a few decent picks in movies. I was especially pleased to see Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. The library is growing, but Hulu won’t progress from Internet novelty to a proper entertainment source until the selection of flicks is formidable enough to make users rethink their Netflix account.

Yes, it looks like those alien invaders may yet succeed. But first it must overthrow those of us with our own plots to conquer the world. YouTube still holds sway as the leading source of brain-rotting lolz. Yes, Hulu, you must learn to produce content that users demand, voluntarily sacrificing their neurons until their flabby bodies are nothing more than a soft cushiony vessel for the gooey brains you so dearly crave. You must compete with the likes of this:

I wish you luck. May the best conquerer of humanity win.