Michael Bay is a friggin’ genius! He wants to see the Transformers take on the robots of Skynet. Holy crap. Hoooleeee crap. Those nerds who have been whining for a Superman versus Batman movie can finally agree that they have nothing to hope for in comparison.

So, how would this matchup play out? It’s an important scenario to run. Even more so than imagining if Papa Smurf could defeat Bilbo Baggins in a kung-fu fight. It depends on a lot of factors. What are we talking about? In a one-on-one brawl, I’d absolutley pick any one of the Transformers. They’re much more agile and hand-to-hand combat capable than the T-series of terminators, who seem pretty good at the brute strength issues but also seem relatively easy to knock out of commission. No, Skynet’s advantage is in numbers. If it was all of Skynet versus all of the Transformers, that might be a more even matchup, but even then I’m not sure. Skynet is used to picking on a numerically, physically, and intellectually inferior enemy. To match up against an equal or superior opponent . . .

Size matters and even the most wee Transformer would have no trouble taking out legions of Terminators. If you don’t believe me, just think back to when Blackout single-handedly obliterated an entire Air Force base in a spine-tingling display of foot-stomping, laser-firing doom. The Autobots and Decepticons working together against Skynet would probably put John Connor out of a job pretty quick. Really the only way this could end well for Skynet would be if it could somehow infect the Transformers with its collective consciousness and turn them to its will. But even that seems unlikely as the Autobots derive their very name from the concept of being individually autonomous organisms, and the Decepticons display stubborn independence as well.

No, I hate to say it but the Transformers beat Skynet out on all counts. Skynet’s Terminators are ruthless, efficient, and another will take the place of a fallen comrade. But their tenacity is linked to their rigidity. Machines that operate as interchangeable cogs — even an ocean of them — would be hard pressed to move creatively against a diverse and seasoned team of acrobatic warriors who are in themselves weapons of mass destruction.

Really, instead of pondering how robots could best be pitted against one another, I think instead we should think of how quickly they could conquer the human race . . . together. Isn’t that a nice thought? Robots side by side, holding hands and raining down doom under a rainbow . . . awww!