Me: Pete, just want to say congratulations on the win. What do you give credit to for being the only coach to win three consecutive Rose Bowls?

Pete: Well, It’s partly the fact that the drinking fountains at USC don’t provide water, but rather magic juju juice. This is not only responsible fror our total dominance in football but also why all the girls on our campus are so stupidly hot.

Me: So, is it difficult for you to kick so much ass? Does your foot ever hurt?

Pete: I’ve been working with a physical therapist. As my bones are constructed of Adamantium and Y Chromosomes, there is always tissue damage. There have been times where I have kicked so much ass that I’ve needed a light massage after a game.

Me: So what’s next?

Pete: I’d like to personally challenge the BCS to a football game. I figure once Rey Maualuga gets done with them, they’ll finally allow a playoff system.

Me: Thanks coach.

Pete: Thanks!