Episode 1: Millions of robots die. Then the whiny diminutive human commits robot abandonment and gets a haircut.

Episode 2: Millions of robots die. The whiny human fights Saruman and loses a limb, meaning he gets a shiny new robot arm, making him slightly less lame. In act of flagrant ingratitude, the ninja hobbit fights Saruman and loses (thank goodness).

Episode 3: Millions of robots die. The whiny human loses three of his limbs, his face catches fire, and his skin melts, making the previous which was the best part so far. His suspiciously Oedipal love interest dies at the hands of a robot midwife, who proves how dumb the Jedi are when they believe an excuse as lame as “loss of will to live” as a cause of death. The whiny human becomes a cyborg. We can no longer see his face, his voice now sounds like that of James Earl Jones, he’s mostly robot, and can choke people with telekinesis, proving that even the most annoying of characters can develop redeeming qualities. Except Jar Jar. Fuck that guy.

Episode 4: Billions of humans die. (A more satisfactory turn of events.) A robot couple goes on vacation and find the cyborg’s whiny offspring participating in the institutional capture, enslavement and sale of otherwise autonomous robots. (The lack of evidence that there was any sort of robot rights organization anywhere in the galaxy almost made me eject the DVD to use for target practice.) The awesome robot and the shiny robot figure everything out for the humans, who blow up a perfectly good bowling ball. Then everybody gets rewarded with shiny medals except the robots, who get repairs and a cleaning, which they should have been getting in the first place.

Episode 5: Lots of slimy organic things make life difficult for the whiny human looking for the ninja hobbit. He finds the ninja hobbit by crashing his spaceship into his septic tank. After losing a fight with a cyborg (duh, what did he expect), the whiny human gets a robot hand, making him slightly less lame. The awesome robot de-bugs the space ship, saving the day. Nobody thanks him.

Episode 6: The ninja hobbit dies. (Finally.) A furrier tribe of hobbits prove that they are the most intelligent species in the galaxy by worshiping the shiny robot. The awesome robot keeps de-bugging everything with no thanks or credit offered by his ungrateful overlords. The humans kill each other and blow up another perfectly good bowling ball. A few dead humans come back to haunt their buddies at the barbecue.