halt

wtf

./foul_language

When I saw a headline in my RSS feed stating “Hitchhiker’s Guide series to ride again” I excitedly clicked, thinking that some unfinished manuscript had been found, like the last Dirk Gently novel printed in The Salmon of Doubt. Riding Douglas Adams’ coat tails is some jerk who intends to finish off the Hitchhiker’s Series with a sixth novel.

Eoin Colfer, YOU MEDDLE WHERE YOU OUGHT NOT! You, Mr. geeked out fanboy, are free to emulate work of your hero, but don’t try to pretend it’s something more than what it is. No matter how you pitch it, it’s just fanfiction. This particularly smarmy statement got my anger circuits frying:

“For years I have been finishing this incredible story in my head and now I have the opportunity to do it in the real world,” [Colfer] said in a statement. “It is a gift from the Gods. So, thank you Thor and Odin.”

The Gods? THE GODS??? No. It’s a gift from publishers who are happy to publish anything they think will be lucrative. They’re not giving you a gift; they’re just taking a page out of Disney‘s Playbook, nothing more.

I spill my hot tea on you, Eoin Colfer.