. . . and their irritation ranking on a scale of 1 to 10

whining – 5
puppy dog eyes – 1
public restrooms – 6
mass produced “food” – 8
gossiping – 9
people who don’t mind their own business – 9
store bought pie crust – 4
E.T. – 10
being poked – 10
fashion magazines – 7
MTV – 3
hippies – 4
neocons – 4
American Idol – 2
knee-jerk reactions – 8
caviar – 2
cigarettes – 9
talking in theaters – 9
people who bring toddlers to the mall – 7
the mall – 5
Charles Dickens – 6
Feodor Dostoyevsky – 7
Jackson Pollock – 8
bigotry – 10
cockroaches – 9
gangsta rap – 3
emo – 6
clowns – 7
replacing toilet paper rolls – 1