I was listening to KFOX on the way to work. Usually the morning show is unbelievably good. But then they played “Ooh, Baby, I Love Your Way,” off of “Frampton Comes Alive!” That song is, in case you didn’t know, in the Guinness Book of World Records as the most irritating yet overplayed song ever written. My reaction surprised me. While I expected my usual disgust at hearing the song itself, what got to me instead was that the crowd was singing along. A shudder of horror overtook me as I imagined thousands of Peter Frampton fans gathered together in one place, singing that song. Creepy.

I already understood that there are two kinds of cars you should fear most on the road, but I get periodic reminders. The first is a giant truck, because they’ll run you off the road just for the fun of it. You have to get out of the way because you’ll suffer immense damage if you don’t. The second kind of car you should fear is a 1993 Ford Taurus with rusty wheel wells, at least one panel painted with primer, and an bouquet of dongles swaying below the rear view mirror. This person has no insurance, no money, and nothing to lose if they hit you.

If reincarnation is possible, I want to come back as a dog with an affectionate owner who takes me for rides on the freeway and lets me stick my head out of the window.

Unhappy people tailgate, weave, and suck down their Starbucks with all the unfulfilling bitterness of a boozehound drinking bad whiskey alone in a dive bar on a Wednesday night.

Hybrid drivers are, I am now convinced, the greatest producers of Smug in the state.