Holy crap! Who knew? Indiana Jones is pure fiction! And here I spent all these years thinking it was the real deal. Wow. I was so confused! Thank goodness CNN is there to show us all the light.

I’m just gonna throw this out there: If you are really so dumb that you need to be reminded that movies aren’t real and that what you see on screen is neither accurate nor desirable real-world behavior, then the robot uprising can’t happen too soon. Really. At this point it’s just about protecting humans from themselves, like taking scissors away from an idiot who keeps running with them. Our one chance for mercy is to convince the robots that it’s only the journalists, and not the general public, who are this stupid.