It’s still a little early, but I’m putting out a call– who’s up for a midnight screening in May for the upcoming studfest? Just consider yourselves warned– I will probably jump up and lick the screen. More than once.

“Eeew” you say? Are you kidding? What’s better than eye candy on the silver screen? Having a CANDY STORE on the silver screen. Heroic hottie Harrison Ford and post-pubescent boy toy Shia LaBeouf are looking like they’ll be pretty studly together in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Usually moviegoers have to choose between actING and actION, but both LaBeouf and Ford have the chops to really make this something special. Not to mention tight abs and leather jackets.

Look– I’ll come right out and say it. This is like porn for me. Can it get any hotter than a leather jacket wearing, bull whip toting, Nazi chops busting, motorcycle riding save the day kind of dude?

Oh yeah. It can. When he’s an Archeology professor. I would have been right there in his class with “I Love You” written on my eyelids too. So can it get any hotter than that?

Oh yeah. It can. When there is TWO of them.

The only thing I’m really disappointed about is that Sean Connery won’t be reprising his role as Henry Jones, Sr. This is twice– yes TWICE– that I’ve been robbed of a chance to see Sean Connery and Harrison Ford onscreen at the same time. Yes, Alec Baldwin was just fine in The Hunt For Red October, but really. Come on. Harrison Ford owns the part of Jack Ryan. Suck it, Affleck.

But then, I suppose it’s in the best interest of public safety that Connery is retired. I really doubt movie theater owners want to be responsible for the mess it would make when all of the female moviegoers’ heads spontaneously combusted on the sight of three such tasty morsels grouped in one shot . . .