1. Hit your brakes hard and abruptly for no reason. Do this often, as it’s a helpful way to make sure the adrenal glands of the driver behind you are functioning properly.

2. If there are only two lanes on your side of the highway, hang out in the left lane going about 55, especially if there is a large truck to your right going the same speed. Do this often, as it’s helpful in teaching the 5,000 cars stacked up behind you that patience is a virtue.

3. If you are stuck behind someone blocking the highway by traveling slowly in the fast lane, flash your brights, tailgate, and swerve back and forth in the lanes looking for an opening to go around. Do this often, as it’s a helpful way to make the already rude and arrogant driver in front of you more self-righteous and less likely to get out of the way.

4. If you drive an 18-wheeler, try to run compact cars off the freeway at every chance you get. Do this often, as it’s a helpful way to reclaim the roads for truckers everywhere.

5. If you are traveling with your family, behave in a manner that humiliates your spouse and provides a terrible example for your children. Examples include flashing your brights at anybody who has the nerve to merge in front of you, shouting and waving your arms in a manner that attracts the notice of strangers, accelerating rapidly should anyone have the audacity to attempt to pass your overladen SUV, and screaming loudly during pit stops at gas stations. Do this often, as it’s a helpful way to remind people that having children makes people go crazy.

6. Remember that wherever you are going is much, much more important than anywhere anybody else on the Interstate is headed. Including the emergency vehicles with flashing lights behind you. Do this often, as it doesn’t matter if someone dies because you needed to get where you were going to first.

7. Talk on your cell phone. A lot. Do this often, as it is helpful in keeping you from maintaining a constant speed and will help to see if your fellow drivers are paying attention to you.

8. Checking your blind spot is overrated. There is over a 90% chance that the person in your blind spot will have quick enough reflexes to swerve out of your way. Do this often, especially if you’re female and/or Asian, because stereotypes about you don’t get enough reinforcement.

9. When trying to find food at a truck stop, complain loudly that there are no vegan options and that all the food has preservatives in it. Refer to the town you’re in as a “backwater redneck hellhole.” Do this often, as the clerk behind the till will appreciate you demeaning their way of life and will be more likely to give you excellent service.

10. Should your car break down, don’t bother pushing it all the way over to the side of the road, especially if you’re a male in excellent health and physical condition. Nobody will mind that you’re blocking traffic, creating a backup and slowing down the progress of thousands of commuters. Do this often, as everybody loves to be late for work or family functions.